Besides, if I asked you to name the top THREE reasons you are unhappy right now, I’ll bet your list would use the same categories.
You could probably point to some relationship that isn’t working out or that isn’t as fulfilling as you hoped, some circumstance that isn’t going the way you hoped it would, or some personal mistake or perceived fault that has produced a feeling of shame or unworthiness inside.
Which means a good portion of our “happiness” is strongly tied to circumstance and to things, or how others treat us.
And we could say the same with our capacity to “love.” It’s almost all conditional. Our capacity to offer Love vulnerably and connect meaningfully changes depending on how someone else is treating us.